MH21-45 Fatima Oliver. Everyone needs a safe place to fall.

Mental Health Awareness with Sara Troy and her guest Fatima Oliver, on air from November 9th

Inspired by her personal accounts and scholarly background, Fatima passionately extracts her insight from the Psychodynamic theory, also known as psychoanalytic psychotherapy. This methodology helps clients to better understand their emotions and unconscious patterns of behavior. By talking through these emotions and behaviors, clients become more aware of themselves and feel more empowered to remove bad habits from their lives, while making better decisions for themselves.

At an early age, Fatima became emphatically convinced pain and family were synonymous. Living with the trauma from physical and sexual abuse, the loss of a child, abandonment issues, domestic violence, and horrible decision making, she walked around most of her life waiting for the world to compensate her for her pain and suffering.

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Many of the hang-ups Fatima encountered daily, lead a painful trail back to events that had entrapped her when she was younger. Gradually these wounds rooted themselves into her emotions, mindset, habits, and decision making. Eventually leading her to a complicated relationship with anxiety and depression.

Always being fanatic about education and intrigued by how the brain operates led to Fatima’s scholastic development in psychology. More importantly, her understanding regarding why she viewed life, relationships, opportunities, and love from such a skewed lens. A psychodynamic perspective brings an emphasis on the cognitive influence that underlines human behavior, feelings, and emotions and how they might relate to experiences from the past.

“I stopped living in the falsity that my life would be better when I finally got “the apology”. I stopped believing life would be worth living when I hit a certain salary. I stopped courting anger and expecting everyone to understand. I stopped making excuses for my bad judgment. I stopped being jealous of people who seemed happy. For the first time, I sat in my mess and did the tough work to clean it up. I allowed myself to be free from the actions of others. It was an educational journey; one that lead me to a more intimate relationship with The Creator. But also to discover freedom in being myself. My flawed, quirky, sometimes loud, and beautiful self. In a nutshell, I took my life back.”

Through this deep dive into herself, Fatima has learned some very important tools. As a life coach, her clients also use these tips as a foundation to build on.

1. Everyone needs a safe place to fall. Someone who lovingly accepts your ugly cry and 3 days old under arm sweat.

2. A victim-mentality must change to a victor mindset. At some point, we are all held accountable for which we understand and it is up to us to correct it.

3. Healing includes proper placement of accountability. Own your stuff and yours alone.

4. It is okay to not be okay. But it is not okay to remain that way. I don’t care how cute the shoes and outfit, that person has “stuff” too. Comparison and envy must be replaced with self-determination to be a better you.

Fatima is a big believer in paying things forward, which is partly why she has chosen to open her life up in very vulnerable ways. Sharing various pitfalls and growing pains she endured while stuck in sorrow, resentment, bitterness, and self-righteous anger. She is convinced It is truly possible to heal from the unforgivable.

For more Soul-healing steps click here. To pick up Fatima’s book, The Prescription is in the Dirt, as seen in NBC, FOX, CBS, and USA Today, please click here.