Choose Positive Living with Sara Troy and her guest Dr. Saida Désilets, on air from December 25th
Dr. Saida Désilets on How Women Claim Theirs and Men Learn to Honor It Finding the Culture-Altering Collaborative Way Forward in a Highly-Charged Moment in History Harvey Weinstein, Brett Ratner, Louis CK and James Toback did not respect it. And the women who are now coming forward about their sexual abuse at the hands of these men are only now truly claiming it. “It” is their SEXUAL SOVEREIGNTY—the right to control their own sexual and physical fate—not being subject to the demands, the whims, the control or the perversion of others.
“Do you realize that in no country in the world, nor even the United Nations Human Rights Charter, is there any stipulation that women have the rights to their own bodies,” says Dr. Saida Désilet, Ph.D. A thought-leader and speaker on the growing edge of researching ways women can use their minds, bodies, and spirits to create richer lives through their sensual selves, Saida serves as a guide to women who believe in transformation as a lifelong path of learning, discovery and walk to freedom.
JOIN SARA AND SAIDA ON THEIR IN DEPTH CONVERSATION
But it was a violent rape that nearly cost Saida Désilets her life that put her on this path. Self-described as a “street-savvy, equipped with feisty farm-girl strength and the grace of a dancer,” she was by no means naïve. In fact, this French Canadian native was raised on a First Nation’s reservation in Manitoba where sexual abuse of children, teens and young women was common. Yet, despite seeing that openly, she never expected to be so violently attacked by a man she was actually dating. The shocking violation left her in such excruciating physical and emotional pain and damage that, upon waking up after emergency surgery, she was told she had only two weeks to live.
But live she did! “I chose to defy the surgeon’s diagnosis, and instead, chose to live. Life after the rape, after near-death, takes on a different quality,“ she says.” Either you become a shut-down, just-getting-by version of yourself or you suddenly feel like you’ve been given a new ticket on life. I felt the latter. My journey started in defiance. I defied death. I defied the badge of a victim. And I claimed myself in ways I never knew possible.”
After two decades of work with women on their sexuality and sensuality, a PhD, two books–plus one more on the way, and the development of a proven psycho-sexual method that is now being used in female medicine, she has come to recognize “that this journey, this coming home to ourselves, is an act of rebellion. Rebellion because women must defy their conditioning, their wounds, and the inertia of social mandates.”
Saida points to a quote from Hamash Alidina: ‘In a society that benefits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.’
“That’s how the term SEXUAL SOVEREIGNTY emerged,“ she says. “It’s the full ownership of ourselves and our body and our sensual/sexual nature. It is knowing that no person, institution, organization or government has the right to choose what we do with our pleasure, sensuality, sexuality and fertility. That is ours alone to choose.”
And now the quest is how to usher in a new path that brings men and women into the right relationship with each other…where SEXUAL SOVEREIGNTY is the cornerstone for both sexes, and is the foundation for building understanding, respect, compassion and strength. A world where physical or psychological oppression is no more. And #METOO isn’t necessary.
Saida speaks to all of this. Her vision is one of healing and growth for all. Most of all she wants women to feel at home in themselves, where they know they belong and that they matter—opening up new levels of freedom, joy, self-confidence and achievement.