In the search for acceptance, sexual assault survivor John Krotec discusses his own personal experience trying to find love in the cyber-world. He will detail how he first found the romantic cyber world and the pitfalls he encountered. His reactions to his own behaviour while in the cyber-world nearly ruined his personal life. He will talk about the nature of the cyber world, a place where because of technology you can be anybody or anything you want to be. It is his belief that such cyber-relationships are not real, just fantasy and illusion and, if not kept in check (the proper perspective), can erode the human spirit.

It really was a search for acceptance and satisfaction…things I was not finding in my own personal relationships and job…brought on by serious low self-esteem…

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The journey of self-actualization (I call it the struggle for authenticity) is lifelong. For me and for millions of others, it can be and has been excruciatingly emotionally painful at times. However, for those struggling, there is a way out. It’s not easy.  It takes brutal honesty and courage to overcome.  After months of one-on-one therapy, I believe the only way to truly self-actualize is to dig deep, to introspect, and to do the hard work that will erase the negative limiting self-beliefs that can and will continue to reinforce self-loathing. You will have setbacks and you will make mistakes (I certainly have), but you will have small victories, too. I ultimately belief these small accomplishments can be built upon and lead you to success.

My own personal struggles dealing with self-loathing were the result of two significant events in my early life, events that took place before the age of fifteen. The extreme self-loathing created by these significant events fueled an extreme need for acceptance and love–not self-acceptance and self-love–but finding acceptance and love from others. The first event, being sexually assaulted, destroyed many parts of my self-esteem. It was not good. It sucked. The second event further reinforced my feelings of inadequacy AND added even more psychological destruction to my already fragile sense of self. Without going into too much detail about it, let’s just say it concerned the behavior of a parent and it created more confusion for me on the important subject of marital fidelity.

I will be sharing my personal journey for self-actualization with you in the hopes that my story will help others suffering from similar circumstances and feelings.  One of the subjects that I will be exploring will be online relationships.  Drawing upon my own experiences, I hope to expose the pitfalls of looking for acceptance and love in the digital world, a world full of fantasy and illusion. I know firsthand that millions are suffering.  In the process, I hope to heal myself and my marriage and not add any more fuel to my self-loathing fire.

Please join me…it’s time to live a real life…