Their Story Matters with Sara Troy and her guest David Kessler, on air from December 20th
One-third of the population will experience Holiday Grief David Kessler, grief expert, gives 7 solutions for help.
A loss of a loved one, or way of life, the loneliness and deep sorrow are very prevalent at this time of year, please be mind and heartful and reach out and care.
Holidays are about togetherness. How do we have togetherness when the one we want to be with isn’t with us anymore?
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Holidays only magnify the loss.
David has put together 7 strategies to help get you through the holidays.
- Be honest about your grief. There’s pressure to have a joyful holiday even when nothing has gone wrong in life. You’re not a Grinch, you’re in grief! Don’t feel the need to fake it or be happier than you actually are. You don’t have to have a holiday joy!!
- Include the loss into your holidays. The grief is there anyway. Light a candle in their honour. Dedicate the prayer before dinner to your loved one. Have everyone at the dinner table share a favourite story about your loved one that died.
- Take your grief online. Facebook in the new town square. Share photos of past Christmas. Also, there are many closed Facebook groups, just for those grieving. You will quickly see others are also feeling loss during the holidays.
- For events, always have an exit strategy. You don’t have to stay. Feel free to say, you just wanted to drop by or you have another event to get to. You can even text yourself if you need to…time to go!
- Re-evaluate your rituals.Choose what works and doesn’t. You can even cancel a holiday. You don’t have to do those 200 Christmas cards. You don’t have to cook the dinner. Free yourself.
- “No” is a complete sentence.You should not have to do anything you don’t want to do. And you don’t have to explain it. “No, thank you” also works well.
- Pay attention to the children.They are often the forgotten grievers. We think since kids seem busy in school they are fine. Or it’s easier to focus on the adults. But children feel the grief and have less life experience and tools to deal with the loss.
By David Kessler