When seeking relief from painful relationships there are many things we must consider. We must consider our external world as well as our interior world.
Rather than simply sorting through various medications or treatment modalities, we must consider our external world as well as our interior world.
It is possible to use our divorce as a catalyst for change and create a new life that is filled with promise, possibilities and freedom. I believe that people who come into our lives and mirror our buried emotions, they are here to wake us up to loving and healing ourselves.
My divorce taught me many things about taking responsibility for my emotions and connecting inwardly with my pain to sort through the layers for conditioning and arriving at a place of empowerment and clarity as a result.
When we look at the exterior world, we lay blame on others for contributing to the stress in our lives. I played the victim role for many years. Pointing my finger at others. As I looked outside myself for blame, I also looked outside of myself for healing. Many of the problems I was experiencing in my marriage came from my own self-denial.
I experienced health challenges as a result of being in a relationship that wasn’t serving me. I believe my body had developed a survival mechanism and shut down on me to cop with the situation.
In the course of my treatment I learned that my symptoms were manifested as a result of subconscious beliefs and cultural values and a lack of self love. I was living a life full of expectations of others, yet didn’t have my own voice. The treatment plan bought every symptom to the surface to heal, and for me to make connections to where I had manifested the symptom, and how it was still affecting my life today. Healing resulted from a combination of inner work and supplements and life coaching. I was coached through layers of illness that were embedded deep into my cells dating back to birth.
The root cause of all my problems was depression and now it had come up to heal. With a new outlook on life, I looked towards examining all aspects of my life. I could no longer, relate to my husband of 22 years. It was like I had woken up from a coma and the people in my life were total strangers, but it was actually me that had changed. I was now fully awake at the soul level and examining life at every turn. I set boundaries and had more expectations of my family for their support on staying healthy. I now expressed what I wanted from the people in my life. In 2015 my husband and I divorced.
I found the real me underneath layers of symptoms. I had stuffed every emotion deep into my body, but never learned the tools and skills to deal with life. I now live life from the soul level and listen to the wisdom within that my body has to offer. Our body is our temple and its up to us how we nourish our soul. It was though my healing journey that I discovered my life purpose.
Today, I am in total control of my own emotional health. I have transformed my life on all levels. Not only have, I changed my own life, I have changed the life of my two boys. When I lived in emotional chaos my children also lived in emotional chaos. My two boys are much happier and emotionally grounded. All these positive changes happened, because, I took control of my own life as a mother and women. My emotional health has also helped me gain clarity in other areas of my life such as having more financial freedom and making clear and grounded choices. I now realize that our emotions are connected to every area of our lives. Having emotional clarity also affects the way we deal with relationships. I now have more heart-centered and meaningful relationships. My own healing journey has made me see that we are all connected in so many different ways. I am excited about my new venture as a divorce coach, where I will be helping support women through the divorce process on an emotional level.
My dream is to show other women through my story, that living an empowered life is possible.
By Nina Bains
TO HEAR NINA’S INTERVIEW WITH SARA TROY ON CHOOSE POSITIVE LIVING SHOW